Friendships Come and Friendships Go

Stop and think for a moment of all the people that have touched your life to this day - yes, as far back as you can remember (and for some of us that is really, really far!) Now, how many of those people are still in your lives? How many of those people did you think would be with you forever? Who left first, you or them?

We as human beings are funny creatures when it comes to friendships - let’s explore just a few things I’ve observed over my years and friendships.

The definition of friend, from the American Heritage Dictionary: A person whom one knows, likes and trusts.

The definition of acquaintance, from the same dictionary: Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship.

So, in my opinion what makes an acquaintance a friend is that word “trust” tacked to the end of the definition. Someone you can trust and relax with, someone that feels like “home” when you’re around them ... these are friendships well worth cultivating! I think it is very important to remember these definitions, because in the long run they will prevent huge disappointments.

Cultivating, or building, a friendship is hard work, you have to invest yourself in them. We humans do not like the thought of rejection and so friendships are hard to build because we have to “put ourselves out there” and rejection hurts. In order to try to build a true friendship you have to let go and start sharing some things that may be private, self-disclosure as it may be, in order to start building trust. The turn from acquaintance to friend is a gradual process and we have to reach out to offer friendship by offering up caring, listening, talking, sharing, acceptance and affirmation.

Carole King’s song “You’ve Got A Friend” .... “Winter, spring, summer or fall - all you got to do is call and I’ll be there.” We all expect our friends will always be there, yet friendships end, even the best maintained friendships. Speaking from first hand experience (and I’m sure we all have these) I had a best-friend for years, we shared everything .... or so I thought .... the one thing I did learn (unfortunately) from this friend, was how to be stabbed in the back, lied too and betrayed. Several years ago, we spoke and “mended” (to a certain extent) ourselves as people at the untimely death of a “shared” friend. This did give both of us some peace, but I can’t truly say we aren't even acquaintances today ... I still grieve the friendship we had ... BUT ...

“Friendships Come and Friendships Go” however, at the time they are friends, you can truly say that they enriched your life in some way. But as in how “friENDS” is spelled, I’m willing to bet that these people that came and went in our lives were actually merely acquaintances or casual friendships - cherish these “casual friendships” for what they are, were and will continue being.
But truly thank God for the “true friend relationships” that will be with you to your end - don’t toss them away like yesterday’s garbage - for they are truly a blessing.